


because you are everywhere i look

by sicklikewinter



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-22 02:18:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sicklikewinter/pseuds/sicklikewinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she's falling apart at the seams with a smile on her face, and you can't bear to watch</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. railroad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trueprinci](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trueprinci/gifts).



> so this was a really quick three-part thing i did  
> like a "im not going to put this up anywhere else but tumblr" quick
> 
> but skiv sis changed my mind and i gave into peer pressure  
> yolo

She walks on railroad tracks with her arms wide open for balance, and she has a smile that went on for miles. Her long hair, black as an oil slick and equally shiny, fluttered in the wind as she danced on the thin tracks. Her eyes glimmer bright jade (just like her name, and you’d note hers were much better) in the setting sun as she turns to laugh and point at you excitedly.

“Dave! Oh Dave try this out!” she shouts at you, and you chuckle and shake your head. At first you were “too cool” to do it, and bust your head open if you did. Now, with only a month left for her, you don’t care anymore.

You never cared about being “cool” in the first place.

Not since she got word she was dying soon.


	2. flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she's happy she's leaving
> 
> you're not

Her pallid hand is weak in your warm grasp and you wish it wasn’t like this. You wish she was better, healthy, and  _not dying_. You try and recall the happier times, and she appreciates it when you start to ramble and mutter about the time at the cliffs. It is just a memory, but you can vividly recall everything. Everything everything  ** _everything._**

You hold the pair of glasses she wears tightly in your hands as you watch her. She races to the edge of the cliff, and you admire the way her black hair is moved about by the wind. She lets out a holler, and disappears over the cliff—your spine goes ramrod straight, and you try not to shout out her name like you want to ( _“Jade! Jade oh god Jade!”_ ). You walk slowly calmly and easily toward the side of the cliff and peer over.

She is just a speck in the water and she is excitedly waving up at you. You can hear faint shouting on the wind,  _“Dave that was so fun! You should try it!”_  and it sends a warmth over your body. Heartbeat racing, you lift a hand and wave at her. You count slowly backwards from five, and back up from the edge of the cliff. You take off the dark shades that hide your eyes and hold them firmly in your hands, along with Jade’s glasses; and you set them gently down by you and her things before running straight off the cliff.

You imagine her with you, laughing, shouting, and gleeful.

_“We’re flying Dave! We’re flying!”_

You snap back to reality when you hear her hacking coughing, see the blood splatter into her hands, and you snap your emotions shut when you hear her laughing all the while.

How could she be so happy with dying.

**_How._ **


	3. break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's been two months and you still miss her

Sometimes if you wander around the apartment you and her shared, late at night, you can faintly recall the sound of her voice when you trip over the coffee table or run into that pesky closet door. You bang your knees against it so many times they start to bleed. Your arms are black and blue from running into the doorknob of the closet that hates your guts.

The apartment is eerily quiet without her shouting expletives when you forget to put away things or if she just felt like screaming because that’s a very Jade-like thing to do in her mind. There aren’t many things in the apartment now, you had them all given away to charities that she helped with. She’s got the biggest bleeding heart you’ve ever known, and you don’t know how she put up with you and your antics.

You glance around the living room and recall the times you and she would spend watching crappy horror movies she would complain about. You remember the look in her eyes when you told her you’d be her knight in shining armor. She kissed you fiercely, held you gently, and made you feel like it was  _okay_  to open up every once in a while. 

The sound of your car keys echo in the apartment and you snap back to reality. Shoving them in your pockets, you leave the apartment, not caring if you locked the door or not. What was the fucking point anyway? There wasn’t much there anyway, your most important thing was gone anyway.

Lungs aching as you run as fast as you can through the dark town, you head for the railroad tracks. Converse sneakers thunk noisily against the gravel, and you wonder if Jade was happy. You snort at the thought, of course she was happy. She did whatever the fuck made her happy, and you watched and admired and adored her from afar.

Then you fell in love with her.

Then she got sick.

Then she got worse.

Throughout the entire ordeal, she kept smiling kept laughing kept giggling kept flirting kept on kept on  _kept on_. She constantly reminded you, “Don’t be such a sourpuss Dave! You’re dumb if you think I should be  _sad_  I’m dying. It’s a brand new adventure!”

Your shoes hit rusted metal, and you clamor up on top of them. Arms outstretched wide, your shades tucked neatly in your pockets, your red eyes focused up at the skies. There isn’t a single cloud and you can see nearly all of her favorite constellations in the sky.

She would adore this moment, and she would drag you along to go star gazing, firefly catching, and scary story telling under the canopy of trees. It hurts your heart to remember to think back to think at all. You give up thinking in favor of walking across the tracks, hearing the echoing of,  _“Dave! Oh Dave try this out!”_  repeat over and over and over again against the trees and inside your head and in the night air.

“Hey Jade. I’m trying it out,  _just_  for you. Am I cool yet?” your voice  **breaks** , your heart aches, and you swear you can hear her laughing an agreement,  _“Of course you are Dave!! You’re the coolest!!”_   but that’s silly and pathetic of you to wish to beg for to even  **imagine**  that.

It’s been two months since she died anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically this was a really old thing i did  
> sorry


End file.
